Old people misconceptions

So I STILL owe you pictures of all the amazing work JD has been doing around the house (stacking wood, removing carpet, building raised garden beds – he’s awesome). Hopefully this weekend I can get my butt into gear and do all the picture compiling and resizing. Until then I have another boring text-based post for you.

I’ve been thinking of doing a post called ‘baby misconceptions’ where I could post all the cute and sometime hilarious new takes my kids have on words and phrases. For example, Evie says “last morning” instead of yesterday and Ian still occasionally says “Darth Mater” instead of Darth Vader.

However, this morning while driving into work I was faced the sudden realization of one of my own misconceptions. I’ve had the song In the Dark by Dev on my playlist for the last year or so. The song has the phrase “I’ve got a sex drive that’s push to start.”

Now if you are my age, push to start is a rather complicated and daring method of getting your battery-dead car going by having a couple of friends push you along until you are going a decent speed and then you pop the clutch to start the engine. Or you can be REALLY stupid daring and do it yourself by pushing your car down a hill, running really fast, jumping in the driver’s seat, and popping the clutch. Just make sure there are no trees, turns, or sudden drop-offs at the bottom of the hill. I may or may not have done this on my boyfriend’s car back in high school with mixed results.

If you know me, you can pretty easily picture me driving along, singing to the Dev song, and entertaining improbable and hilarious visions of what it means to have to push start your sex drive. And while I was a little confused, since it didn’t seem to fit with the premise of the song, I was accepting. I mean, some people take longer to get going, right? Maybe need the help of a couple of friends, a slight incline, and…. yeah. Never mind.

So this went on for an entire year. And then this morning comprehension dawned in a blaze of light and humiliation.

Ohhhhhh, Push to Start... AKA instant start… AKA…

OLD.

YOU ARE SO FREAKING OLD!

WHY ARE YOU SO OLD????!!!???

I suddenly have more sympathy for the old people of 20 years ago, who were totally confused by the concept of moving a mouse to get the computer to work, or hunted their keyboards fruitlessly for the Any key.

Filing that in the internal glossary and quietly moving on…